January, 2006

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blogging on empty

Tuesday, January 24th, 2006

I have had this window open for an eternity.  I can’t think of anything to type.  It got so bad I was going to title this entry, “These are the fruits I like like; These are the fruits I like” and classify different fruits based on my satisfaction level.  Then I was going to WOW you with statistics about foods that fall in the grey zone between fruit and vegetable.  Instead I’ll tell you about a story when we were doing agenda’s at school last month:

 Student, “Mr. R. I have a good way to remember that Christmas is in December”

*Long pause* (wondering if that’s really an issue needing addressing) Me, finally biting, “How?”

Student, “Look at the first three letters of December”

*Longer pause* Me, confused, “Dec?? (luckily I used the hard ‘c” sound)”

Student, stunned I’m not getting it, I’ll never forget it, “Dec, as in Deck the Halls”

Me, laughing uncontrollably hard on the inside, “that is a good trick!”

My kids rock my world.  I’ll even let you borrow this little mnemonic if you need it.

Drowning in your Love [for incompetence]

Sunday, January 22nd, 2006

So I finish my workout on the gym side of Talisman, and I saunter into the pool side of things.  Already I’m miffed.  First, I give a half smile to the lifeguard working, and she looks at me totally bored out of her tree… not even returning a quarter smile.  Fine.  Then I look at the pool to see that people ARE NOT CIRCLE FREAKIN’ SWIMMING.  Seriously, the concept is not hard.  You swim in a circle as to avoid chaos.  It’s a fool-proof system and it works… there’s no “buy-in”  you just do it.  Oy vey. 

I’m spiraling downwards in my negativity when I look down into the pool to see a young boy who is not very good at swimming.  He looks up at me with the look “I know you think I’m not good, but I am.”  I look down at him with the look “I used to lifeguard and you are THE prototype DNS (distressed non-swimmer).  Get to the wall, big shot.”

My saunter continues to my lane.  I continue to watch the boy… and I (of course) turn out to right.  All of a sudden the boy has a look of panic.  He’s stuck… just out of reach of the edge.  My super-lifguard instincts kick in as I decide which is more efficent from my position, running and jumping in… or jumping in and swimming from where I am. 

No parent is with the kid.  The lifegard doesn’t even know he exists.  He’s tossing his flutter board in the air repeatedly to avoid a mid-shift nap.  Right as I get ready to turn into superman.  He barely gets hold of the edge… clearly the kid is shaken up and decides he’s had enough.  He leaves the pool, looks around thinking no one noticed [which was nearly true] and heads for the hot tub. 

Turns out, I didn’t solve anything… but I was close… which is a lot more than either lifeguard could say.  Good help is so hard to find these days.  Let’s not kid ourselves.  I rocked as a guard.

so i want to branch out and become dyslexic…

Thursday, January 19th, 2006

I just found the craziest site ever:

 http://elgoog.rb-hosting.de/index.cgi

 It’s google mirror.  Just like google, but everything’s backwards.  For example: type in “stac” and you find the site: “snettik dna stac tuoba lla”; type in “nostrebornhojsivart” and you get my site.  it’s phenominal.

 After awhile it makes you buggy.  I wonder if dyslexic people actually use it.  More importantly… I wonder if you used it exclusively, if you would become dyslexic.

 

would you rather…

Saturday, January 14th, 2006

the other day I was asked if i would rather have a pencil sharpening nostril or a ketchup despensing navel.

i chose the handy nostril ability… for a few reasons.  first, i’m not sure i would really trust ketchup that came from my navel.  even if i did, i’m sure others certainly wouldn’t.  second, i teach and use pencils tons, or as we say in Canada: tonnes.  i don’t eat kethup tonnes.  erego: more practical.  that said, i do eat ketchup on grilled cheeses after having not growing up.

pencil shavings always have that strong smell though, and if it was right right right in your nose that they were being sharpened that could be tiresome.

in my classroom i have an electric pencil shaprener.  not so much in the mornings, but anytime it gets used after lunch i get this close |—–| to going postal.  especially, when i’m talking to the class.  it sounds like a remote control car stuck in a corner.  again, the nostril option sounds favourable.

 anyways something to think about.

on Death and Dying

Monday, January 9th, 2006

 “I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge – myth is more potent than history – dreams are more powerful than facts – hope always triumphs over experience – laughter is the cure for grief – love is stronger than deathâ€?– Robert Fulghum

Hearing that someone died is always a strange sensation.  Each time someone close to me has died the world has become somewhat vacuum-like.  It’s a strange moment and thought process.  It has been like I’ve been thinking and feeling a million things and like i’ve been thinking and feeling nothing at the same time.

Today, a classmate and friend of my sister passed away in a car accident.  Her name was Sara.  I didn’t know her well.  She went to our church sometimes.  She was very smiley, kind of goofy, fairly quiet but fairly mischevious at the same time.  A “Trochu Girl” through and through.  Even without knowing her that well, it’s sad… and strange.

So, I don’t think there’s any great brotherly wonderful answer for what to do when things like this happen other than: be.  Feel what your feeling whether it’s sadness, confusion, anger or whatever.  Be as supportive as you can to the other people who are going through this too.  Laugh and Cry until you’re done. Remember the good times.  Celebrate and Honour the life both together with friends, and on your own.  Just be, knowing that this is the hardest it gets.  The thing about the human heart is that it has an inherent ability to heal, an inherent ability to do what it needs to in order to carry on.  But, it still sucks.

As per usual, it’s a crazy journey.

Opening the cupboard door

Friday, January 6th, 2006

There was a cupboard in the corner of the room. I reached out my hand and gripped the door handle. I pulled the door towards me, thereby opening the cupboard.

 I just stole that.  I stole it from the self-claimed “dullest blog in the world“.  That’s an entire entry.

On an unrelated note last night I had one of my recurring dreams.  It’s a bit gross, so if you’re not into gross you might want to bail here.

I dreamt, yet again, that I was talking with someone and began to feel something in my mouth.  It’s always the same ‘something’ too.  The best comparisson I can make is that it’s like when you put too many soda crackers in your mouth, to the point that you have to take some out because swallowing is now a lost cause.  The thing is, that in the dream, I haven’t been eating soda crackers; the floury nusiance just appears out of nowhere.

In this instance the person I’m talking to is a guitar instructor, who happens to be very energetic and personable.  I’m there because I’ve received a gift certificate from the sub I’ve used twice in my real life classroom.  In fact, for whatever reason, the sub is there too.  In fact, she drove.  He leaves for a moment, after introducing himself, and that’s when I realize I can’t really swallow, and I have this ‘gunk’ in my mouth I don’t know what to do with.  I excuse myself, but it’s very difficult, because talking is not a very viable.

In every dream it’s the same thing.  I can’t just cough the stuff up, it’s stuck right in there.  I need to take it out with my fingers.  It’s not so bad because it’s not slimy or anything.  I won’t even try to explain the consitancy or even the process.  The big thing is that it’s endless.  I never really panic… more of a self pity moment.  I’m right in the middle of the “why me?” “why now?” when I wake up.  It’s too bad because I’d like to know the solution for next time.

What do you think it means?

“‘Maybe I don’t want a Happy New Year’…

Tuesday, January 3rd, 2006

 …he said. ‘Maybe I want an intense New Year with a lot of growth experiences’ and I had to admit I’d never thought of that.

 So this is how my new year is looking: wonderful.  incredible.  intense with lots of growth expriences.  unforseeable.  wonderful.

 I don’t really plan on making any big resolutions but here is my goal for 2006 is to experience the year wide awake, not unlike Joshua A. Beal in one of my all time favourite (albeit cheesy) movies of all time.