If February is the month for considering all-things-heart, I guess I have four more days to really try to listen to/for heart truth.

I think I’m doing a pretty good job of it actually.

Tonight, my heart-and tummy-were fed courtesy of my folks.  They’re here for Teachers’ Convention, a time that has a lot of nostalgic value for me (the family has come to Calgary for convention, almost as long as I can remember).  Like a good Calgarian, and poor student, I had steak.

I don’t know what March will be the month for, to be honest.  An indulgent trip, yes.  A spring clean, too?  A thawing out?  Some green (or pinches) and growth?  Hmmm…  Time will tell, I guess.

🙂

It’s interesting doing half-splits and being asked to think about forgotten superpowers.

The sensation is not unlike hearing keynote after keynote, at Teachers’ Convention, express their methods of tapping into various superpowers.  Me, relating or attempting to relate, all the while.

My superpower right now is surviving.  It was my superpower just over five years ago when I started teaching, and it’s my superpower now as I start a new position and finish off a second degree.  My superpower is overcoming restlessness.  Mortgage, permanent contract, hundreds-of-pages-of-reading restlessness.  My superpower is balancing.  Finding anything in the midst of total disorganization.  It’s biting my tongue.  It’s calmly responding to e-mail and even more calmly responding to student altercations.  My superpower is making time for something outside of both school realms when I know I don’t have time for anything outside either realm.

BUT, I’m forgetting some.

My superpower is also taking on adventure.  It’s listening.  It’s having heart, sharing, being honest, and laughing.

My superpower is also being goofy.  It’s trying.  It’s doing new things and getting over old things.  It’s connecting eyes, rolling eyes, and ‘I think I’m going to need some help here soon’ eyes.  It’s resilience.  My superpower can be remembering obscure things, or conveniently forgetting some nutty ones.  It’s finding great research, and ways to try connecting it.

It’s planning a trip; spring break, or otherwise.

It’s interesting doing half-splits and being asked to consider forgotten superpowers….. all the while, ready for a very new adventure.  All the while very open to what comes.  All the while increasingly confident the strength needed to finish off this term will be found; superpowers outside of strength, remembered… for all those other, just as important, facets of my life.

1. Today was a day of many gifts to myself: two books, a musical, a well-planned teaching day.  May the rest of February have a few more of those gifts-to-self.
2. These last days have been a gift from, well, not myself.  Chocolate, notes, Thai, fortune cookies, laughter, texts.  May I return the how-great-it feelsness of all that receiving.  (…and may the recent chocolate binging now come to an end!)
3. I’m in the midst of a lot of joy and gratitude these days.  May it be expressed.
4. May I feel and foster the great things that seem to be unfolding.  …not worry about timing, and if there’s time, or deservedness.
5. May I remain equal parts distracted and observant.  Not so distracted to not be productive.   Not so observant to not enjoy.
6. May my busyness not come at the expense of my friends and family and not be continual expressions of frustration and exhaustion.
7. May Convention be a complete, enjoyable oasis.  It’s never let me down, yet.
8. May Spring Break be that oasis X3000.  I’m so excited to see the mouse!
9. May the yogi adventure continue.  …finding strength and space.  Exploring, playing, remembering, discovering.
10. May meaningful connections with far away, and soon-to-be-far-away best friends endure.
11. Yesterday I read a metaphor for knowledge in my coursewwork that REALLY resonated with me.  …Knowledge as a field or landscape:

    “The tasks of teaching and learning involves entering into these living fields and: ‘learning the landscape.’ In this metaphor, learning is analogous to learning to live in an environment: learning your way around, learning what resources are available, and learning how to use those resources in conducting your activities productively and enjoyably. Knowing where one is in a landscape requires a network of connections that link one’s present location to the larger space. Traditional curricula often fail to help students “learn their way around” a discipline. (Bransford, Brown & Cocking, 2000, p.139)”

    May I learn my way around my discipline, my field… in the way I set out to in Spring 2009.

I could tell you so little about Saturday’s food or venues.

I could tell you even less about the mall tonight, or what was going on.

I wouldn’t say I was distracted….. I was really, really present in both scenarios, actually.

…in great company.  …in gratitude.  …in a time-warp where each hour felt like a minute.

Exciting things, these beginnings.

If Thursday is the most hopeful day of the week, February is the most hopeful month of the year.  From February onwards: more sunshine, more instances of warmth, more random gatherings, more work/university wind-down.

I don’t know if it’s related, but as January turns to February, I have the song Hlohonolofatsa REALLY in my head these days.  To the extent I’m humming it all day long.  I’m getting more accustomed to my school: the staff, my assignment, all of it.  It’s all very getting-into-the-groove and finding confidence that’s [understandably] dipped a little bit as I change, learn, and grow.  Now with that confidence, I can take on more and more creating.  …as I hum, and daydream.

I’m ready, now to create/pursue/find an adventure.

I’m sensing one or two (or several) on the horizon here.  I hope I’m right.  If 2010 was the year of Change, maybe 2011 will be the year of….. hmmm, the word I’m looking for is escaping me….